Guest Writer: Amanda Nichols, Ph.D.
“…when I had kids, I felt like I was the one being squished and pressed…I felt pulled when I tried to balance raising kids, taking care of our house, serving in church, and following my dreams. There were even days when I felt as if I was literally being pounded – by life, by my hang-ups, by my own insecurities and doubts that I was “good enough” as a mom…Rather [the blue lump] was something God held in His [hands]. I was that lump. As I watched God pull and tug, I saw that He was following a pattern. He had something in mind. God, the artist, was shaping me, forming me to represent an image of His Son.…Miller had blue jazz. I had blue play dough. I tried not to be disappointed.” (1-2) “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” (2 Corinthians 4:7-9)
This is one of those books that I read at the perfect time in my life. I felt like God was reminding me of some very important things. That being said, I think every mother should read this book. It is an easy read and although the chapters are short, the reader will walk away feeling encouraged. Each chapter is riddled with personal stories from the author’s life as well as moral and personal applications. For a busy mom, I like this style: to the point but thought-provoking. Goyer has a witty style that keeps you turning the pages.
Goyer has some wise words about keeping God in your life, parenting, being a wife, and following your dreams. Since I had my first child over two years ago, I have been struggling with my relationship with God. After having my second son last year, there were days I felt like God and I barely knew each other. The hardest time in my life was when I was in graduate school – the unbelievable amount of stress pushed me into the arms of God. That era of my life was also probably one of the times I felt closest to God. I could spend hours studying his Word and talking to Him. I needed that to survive. But having kids changed the way I survived. If you have children, you know how difficult it is to have time alone. When at home, when I wasn’t changing a diaper or rocking my babies, I was sleeping; I was so tired! So without moments of solitude, how could I spend time with God? Goyer’s words released me from the rules I had made in my relationship with God:
“In the middle of my busy life, I can refocus my thoughts and my mind and my heart on Him. I can be fixed on God, even when my feet are hustling. I can look for Him, listen for Him, even if the looking and listening happen in the short drive I take to pick my daughter up…Or in the prayers I offer up as I shave my legs in the shower…The mess isn’t going to get cleaned up today, but that doesn’t mean I need to hold God at bay. He loves joining me, even if I’m placing Him into my chaos. In fact, if God had His way, I’m sure He’d write Himself into all part of my life, using permanent marker, reminding me of where He wants to be – everywhere…Insert God here.” (8-9)
What? I don’t have to clean myself (and my life) up first BEFORE I take some time with God? All my life, I had been taught that God just wants us, it doesn’t matter what kind of shape we are in at the moment. I had told people that little nugget of truth. But when it came down to it, I thought that I needed to get everything in order and devote a large block of time to God in order for Him to hear my prayers. It is okay for me to pray to God while I’m changing a diaper. Thanks be to God!
I was reminded while reading this book that I have a great husband. I have two awesome children. In Goyer’s words, “I don’t get life right 100 percent of the time…but I know I’m loved – even cherished.” (33) I am reminded of what is important. I also appreciated the simple truths in the book without judgment. There are some books about parenting or being a “good wife” I have read that leaves me feeling beat up. Even though Goyer has made some different decisions than I have (she’s a stay-at-home (mostly), home-schooling mother), I never felt like I was being judged for working outside the home. I was able to glean some important information too from her experiences of homeschooling her children. I applaud Goyer for discussing how she learned to take time for herself to follow her dreams of being an author. I also was impressed with her honesty and ability to openly share how God has worked in her life through bad decisions and tough times she has lived through.
“Even though I left that lifestyle behind when I got married, moved to a different town, and started attending church, I still carried around the memories. They were like crumbs in my play dough. A few stuck to the surface but many more were mixed in and hard to see. Yet even though those crumbs were my secret, they were there. I still felt like that scared, embarrassed teen girl and could not imagine revealing my biggest secret to anyone.” (54)
Goyer talks about grace and how God rescues us – from life, from poor decisions, and even ourselves.
“Yes, my play dough may still get crumbs, but it’s not my job to hide them or even to pick them out. God is faithful in doing that. It’s my job to be truthful about the dirt that still lingers and to hand myself over, plopping my blue, pliable self into His hands.” (60)
One of the scariest ideas about being a parent is the thought of your children hurting. Whether it’s because of others’ decisions, or your children’s own decisions, it is scary nonetheless. I was challenged in thinking about how I will react when my children make poor decisions. I was even more challenged in remembering that I have to hand them over to God as well. God has to work in their lives, too.
Finally, after reading this book, I am still working on remembering that I can approach God anytime. And that I need to approach Him daily – even if it’s only for small amounts of time. I remember back in graduate school at a scientific meeting, I attended a lecture about being a chemist and a mother. I was really looking forward to hearing some good advice since Josh and I were planning on starting a family soon. I was very disappointed. The speaker shared her solution that worked for her family: a live-in nanny while both her and her husband worked 60+ hours a week (each!). Those were my choices? Stay-at-home or work crazy long hours and have a live-in nanny? Thankfully, God has shown us a different way. My husband and I have figured out what works for our family. We’ve been blessed with flexible working hours, great flexible childcare arrangements, and grandparents (and friends) that live nearby that help out a lot!
“I still often ask Him to rescue me from the pressures that come with being a mom. For the most part, He doesn’t. Instead, if I’m willing, He uses them to change me on the inside. In His hands I’m being transformed, one squeeze at a time.” (2)
If you are a mother looking for a book that offers encouragement and a unique perspective of motherhood, then Blue Like Play Dough is definitely the book for you.
