Tips for Speaking Your Spouses Love Language

Have you read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman?  This is an excellent read.  The premise is quite simple: Men and women often attempt to show their spouses love in ways that they, themselves, would like to receive it.  However, we need to work at showing our spouses love in ways they desire.  I would encourage you and your spouse to check out this book.  Read it together and process the different love languages.

As you and your spouse work through this book,  I have 3 "Don'ts" to consider. First, (1) Don't Mind-read. In other words, don't assume you know what your spouse likes. Only your spouse can tell you this for certain, so don't be afraid to ask. Secondly, (2) Don't Assume Mind-reading. Remember that your spouse is not psychic. Your wants and desires are actually relationship components that you should discuss with your spouse and not expect them to "just know." And last, (3) Don't Downplay. Sometimes what your spouse's love language looks like might not make sense to you, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. As long as it isn't a compromise of your integrity or values, you need to show your spouse love in ways they desire....in ways that makes sense to them. You don't have to fully understand. All you have to know is that it is important to this person whom you love deeply.

As always, your thoughts are always welcomed.

(Note: This entry was inspired by a post on Missional Outreach Network by James Nored)