We often cut up and joke about our in-laws. Mother-in-laws seem to have it the worst as they have become the butt of many jokes. As I write this a commercial just came on poking fun at mother-in-laws. The reality is that in-laws are a source of contention for many married couples. As a marriage and family therapist, I can't even begin to count how many times I have had conversations with couples on this very matter. But what if your in-laws could actually help your marriage? What if your in-laws could actually benefit your commitment to your marriage? I actually believe this is possible.
Here is my challenge to you as one of many ways to divorce-proof your marriage - Fall in LOVE with your IN-LAWS. You might be thinking, "WHAT?!" Yes, work hard at loving your in-laws. This will be harder for some than others (and maybe impossible for many). However, if you can fall in-love with your in-laws, when things get tough in your marriage, it becomes one more thing you have set in place that encourages you to hang in there; because if you lose your spouse to divorce, you will most likely lose his/her parents as well. Therefore, loving your in-laws gives you more incentive to keep your marriage healthy or, if it isn't healthy, to work hard at getting it that way. On the other hand, a bad relationship with your in-laws just makes it easier to give up.
As I mentioned, falling in love with your in-laws will be harder for some than others. However, I encourage you to put out some effort to build lasting relationships with them anyway. Your marriage will be better for it. As always, your thoughts are welcomed.
Monday, January 31, 2011
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