Are You Worthy to be Called "Hero" by Your Children?

You may recall a time when you were a child when someone asked you about your "hero." Or, recently, someone may have asked you who you admired most when you were growing up. I have asked some form of this question to groups on multiple occasions (mostly as an icebreaker in Bible studies). Some of the more common answers are "my preacher/youth minister" "my grandfather/mother" and some times I'd get some weird ones, like "the guy who always handed out candy at church." Recently, I was told about a guy who handed out $100 bills to young couples so they could go out on dates. However, no doubt, in every group, someone will mention their mother and/or father. What is interesting to me though is that when these people say "my mom" or "my dad," they do so in a way where their demeanor communicates "sorry, this is all I have...." Its almost as if they are disappointed they didn't have a more intriguing answer to the question. My response is "Great!" I love to hear stories about good habits that people observed from their parents growing up. For instance, "I will always remember my dad reading his Bible every night in bed before he went to sleep" or "My mom gets up at 5:30 every morning and prays for about an hour before starting her day."

Someone recently asked me "Should every parent be their child's #1 hero?"My response was "No, but every parent should be a possible hero to their children." In other words, not every person will choose their parents when asked this question, but if they were to create a short list of heroes, their parents should be on it. You know, so often we are focused on our children's behavior, but a question that we need to constantly be asking ourselves as parents is "Have I been behaving in such a way that would constitute "hero" status in my child's eyes?" Notice the italics. The emphasis is on the "child's" perspective not the "parent's" perspective. Just because we think we are doing a good job, doesn't mean our children do. Our children's perspective is many ways is more important than our perspective when it comes to how we choose to parent them.

I have a nearly 2 yr old son and a son due any day now. I pray for their well being in almost every prayer I send up. I also pray that Amanda and I will be good parents and that we will grow our kids to be wonderful Christian young men. But, I also make sure to pray for the parents of my sons' future wives (assuming they will some day desire to marry). I pray that their wives are or will be part of a healthy home and that they will be nourished physically, mentally/emotionally, and spiritually. I pray that their parents will reach "hero" status in the eyes of their children.....in the eye's of my son's future wives.

To close out this entry, I pose the question to you one more time, "Have you been behaving in such away that constitutes "hero" status?" If your answer is "no," it is never too late to change. Remember, even if your kids are grown and gone, you are still a parent. So, as long as the parent-child relationship still exists, there is still hope things can turn around. I wish you all the best in your relationships.

Be Still and Know

I have a short story to tell about an experience I had at my son's daycare. I showed up around noon to my son's daycare to document my son's very first Easter egg hunt. I was about 30 minutes early, so I just stood around and watched the kids play to kill time. My attention had turned to my son's play (as it often does), when I heard "Hey!" I turned my head toward the voice when I saw a 4 yr old boy staring intently at me. He then proceeded to say, "What are you looking at?" Trying my best NOT to say mockingly "What are you looking at?", I simply said, "My son." He said, "Oh," and continued on with what he was doing. A few minutes later, I hear, once again, "Hey." When I turned toward the familair voice, I saw the same little boy, once again, staring intently at me. Once he knew he had my attention, he asked in his best bad cop voice, "Are you looking at your son again?" Chuckling, I said, "Yes. Yes I am." He then ran over to my son and began to play with him. After a moment or two, my son looked up at this youngin and relayed to him a brief baby-talk monologue. This young boy looked up at me with a confused look and I said, "He's been talking more and more lately." Then this boy said to me, "Yeah, but I can't understand a single word he says."

A few minutes later, I sat down at a table and this little boy decided to engage me in conversation. I'm not sure how we got on the subject, but I found myself explaining to this young inquisitive soul that my son goes by his middle name because he and I share a first name. The little boy cuts his eyes up and to the right. I could just see the wheels turning as I anticipated his response. Just when I thought he couldn't surprise me again, he asked me this ingenious question: Why did your mom name you the same name as your son? Interestingly enough, I could NOT come up with a decent answer. Therefore, I simply stated while half laughing, "That is a good question." That answer seemed to suffice for this small child.

I love this story because it reminds me of how sweet, pure, and innocent children are. It helps me realize what Jesus was talking about when he said that we must become like children in order to enter the kingdom of God (Mark 10:13-15). I think we often get caught up in this busy life that we often ignore or get annoyed when we have experiences like this one. We need to work hard to take the time to be still and listen when we encounter a small child......... God just might be speaking to us through them.