Dangers in Second Guessing Your Children

As parents, we want to raise our children to be self-sufficient, decisive, confident adults. There are many aspects of parenting that contributes to the outcome; the componant I'd like to discuss is How we talk to our children. You might be thinking, "Duh, we know that screaming and yelling and belittling our chldren is emotionally damaging." This is true, however, I'm talking about something more subtle; something more accepted; something very easy to fall victim to.

Have you ever given your child a decision and when they make it, you ask, "Are you sure?" Or have they ever said they want something and you say to them, "Ah, you don't want that." These are common phrases used among parents across the world. How could they be harmful? Afterall, we are their parents; we know what is best for them.

As parents we need to be extra careful about doing or saying things that influences our children to second guess themselves, even if we think we know better. Obviously we need to protect our children from life's dangers, but as long as our kids aren't in danger, we need to allow them to make decisions and let them see those decisions through. If it doesn't work out for them, then lesson learned. If it does, then it is a victory. Either way,THEY GET TO OWN IT! This is on way confidence is built, especially as they experience more and more successes.

What are your thoughts on this matter?