What If Every Day Was Your First Day?

Have you ever seen the movie 50 First Dates? If not, allow me to give you a brief synopsis. It is about a guy (played by Adam Sandler) who falls in love with a girl (played by Drew Barrymore). This young woman has a unique disorder that she developed after a horrific car crash. Every night when she goes to sleep she forgets everything that happened that day and her memory is reset back to the day before the crash. Spoiler Alert: At the end of the movie, we see that she married the guy and had child. It is implied that she wakes up every morning and watches a video that catches her up with important events that have happened over time and then....everyday.....she meets her husband and daughter for the first time.

As this movie ended, I got to thinking, what if this sort of thing happened to me? How would this impact my life? How would my relationships change?

What if every day was your first day? What if you met your spouse or child for the first time every day? How would this change your daily interaction?

If this sort of thing could really happen it would no doubt be a real downer in a lot of ways. But there is something we can take away from the concept. For instance, as I contemplate the mother-daughter relationship in this movie, there is no doubt in my mind that the woman's child felt loved every day of her life by her mother. Keep in mind, although the mother is meeting the child for the first time every day, the child still remembers. And she will remember that every day of her life her mother was excited to see her and probably made that day very special.

I know it is impossible for any of us to be in this mindset all of the time. But, I think we, as parents, should work harder to be in this mindset more often. Sometimes parenting becomes such a job or chore that we forget we are supposed to be building relationships with these little people. As a counselor, I see this happen far too often.

At what point in our parent-child relationship do we stop delighting in seeing our children?

My encouragement to you is to make a conscious decision that you will work harder to enjoy being in the presence of those who are important to you. Look into your spouse's eyes and try to remember what you found so special about that person. Overlook the chores that need to be done around the house and get down on your [dirty] floor and play with your children. Call your parents out of the blue just to have a little chat. These small gestures can have such a large impact on your relationships.

If you are not satisfied with your relationships, make the decision that you will take the first step in the change process. I hope these thoughts will help in your journey of change.